PROVERBS 14:1
"The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands"
It is clear that the woman who is wise does those things that will build a flourishing home and family. The foolish woman, however, does that which is selfish and that which she wants and does not think about what it will do to her home, her family, or herself; just whether she wants to do it at the moment it presents itself.
Making the choices, actions, and the speech of a wise person is to think through the results of what you could do. If I do this, then my husband will be discouraged, mad, and distant. If I do this, the family will not have the money to do that. If I do this, then my children will have the sense that I do not have time for them.
The wise woman arranges activities that will build the family. These are often small decisions that slowly build a great family.
The verse is clearly suggesting that it is in each wife's hands to control her own destiny in regard to her home life. She can build a great family OR she can tear it down by her own actions. The environment that she lives in is really up to her. She is not a victim of her husband or her children but can, through looking for the triple-win, create a good environment for herself and her family to live in.
If it's to be, it's up to me is a great phrase. Wisdom does pay off. Too often we sacrifice long-term joy for short-term pleasure and end up with a heap of troubles.
We are not victims. We create our own environment. Many women and men are acting like they are victims of the circumstances around them because they do not realize how small choices that they can make can, in a relatively short time, change everything.
Ask yourself the question: Is what you are doing building the house and family and yourself or is it tearing it down? If it is purely selfish, then it is probably tearing it down. If it has multiple benefits for many, then it is a building thing. It is in your hands; start building!