Breakfast with Solomon - Proverbs 19:11
"A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression"
The word discretion is not the same as discretion in other parts of this book; therefore, technically, it is a poor translation of a word that really means understanding of a particular type.
In other words, it is a person's ability to always be a few steps ahead that keeps a person from getting angry. It also means that the ability to ask the question, "What will my anger accomplish?" makes a person slow to anger. It doesn't mean that a wise person is never angry, but it is not an impulsive response to a personal need.
Anger is often just being blocked from what we want to do or a right that we think we deserve. There is almost always a back door or another way to accomplish the same goal. We must be always ready to ask what will my anger gain me, and we must also expect or anticipate the possibility that we might not succeed perfectly or without setback. So what is our back-up plan?
We must know what we will do if our child disobeys us. What will we do if this month's numbers are lower than expectations? What will we do if the freeway is jammed? What will we do if that person is rude to us?
If we are to overcome anger, we must be aware of what success is. It is not always doing things our way. At times this may be true, but it is not always. What are we really looking for with our children – perfect little robots that do what we tell them or independent people who live within a God-ordained morality box? What do we expect from our business or our church – an external copy of our internal dreams or a growing God-honoring enterprise?
A man's thoughtful focus on planned success keeps him from getting angry except on rare occasion.
Every day I need to have a bead on what success looks like for that day. Every interaction needs to have a preplanned, successful engagement plan.