Breakfast with Solomon - Proverbs 26:20
"For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down"
So begins a series of verses about the whisperer or the murmurer. The Hebrew word is ragan which means to murmur or whisper, to say under one's breath, to speak quietly. It can easily be extended to mean those who start rumors, who keep slander and gossip going.
The point that is being made is that this type of person is a person to keep out of your employ because they just keep the disagreements and quarrels and bad blood between people going.
Notice what it says. That time will heal people’s wounds except if one of these types of people is around. Do you continue to nurse the hurts and wounds that others have done to you? Who keeps bringing it up? They may be a whisperer or you may be one if you keep doing it. Let old wounds heal. I am amazed at people who want to have their whole life defined by a hurt or difficulty.
Bad things happen to all of us. Some are more tragic than others, but the crucial thing is your reaction to the bad thing. But if you let the whisperer into your life, you will constantly blame someone else for the difficulties in your life instead of moving on and facing life as it is. They will keep the flame of hatred and contempt alive in your life.
Notice what Solomon says here. Fires go out unless someone keeps stoking them with more wood. So hurts and wounds and contention die down and are forgotten unless someone stokes them.
If you are still angry with someone and unwilling to speak to them or still arguing with them after a year or longer, there is a whisperer in your life. Let it go. It does not matter what they did. If they deserve to be arrested, then have them arrested; but move past the hurt yourself or your whole life will begin to be defined by this problem. There are so many wonderful opportunities to love people and be loved by people if we would only accept where we are and seek to make a great life from there.
If you have a whisperer in your life – someone who constantly reminds you of what so and so did – then begin to move away from them. Or take the bold statement of holding up your hand the next time they begin to remind you of the hurt and say, “I distinctly remember forgiving them. I don't want to hold it against them any more so drop it.” So many of us can allow a worm-tongued advisor to slither into our lives and keep us on a constant bitterness watch.
Accept hurts and wounds as inevitabilities of life and seek to move forward. Remember that you have caused other people pain also. Isn't it good that they all don't hold everything you did wrong against you? This is the message of Matthew 19.
Another aspect of this proverb is that if there is constant contention and quarrelling in an organization or family or church, then there is a whisperer who keeps it alive. This needs to stop.
Don't you become a whisperer by repeating all the bad stuff you know about someone. If you hear bad stuff, keep it to yourself. Let your life be a dead end to bad, critical, and negative rumors. If you are in authority to check if something really is true, then check it out but stop spreading the bad news around. This destroys churches and families.
In fact, do the opposite – spread all the good information that you know about everyone you know. Be a positive gossip. Did you know that so and so is one of the most loving people I have ever met. This is powerful.