#MarriageSecrets

Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Sep 2, 2017
4 min

Marriage Secrets: Learn to React When Your Spouse Offends You

In marriage, it is inevitable that we will wound or offend our spouse in some way. A constructive, well-thought-out-response can diffuse the situation quickly and provide opportunity for growth and change. Learning how to respond rather than react is a very important skill for both partners to maintain a good, healthy, unified marriage. A key difference between men and women is their sensitivity levels. When I’m counseling couples or teaching on marriage, I always introduce a

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Marriage Secrets: Choosing Joy for a Better Marriage

Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Aug 26, 2017
3 min

Marriage Secrets: Choosing Joy for a Better Marriage

"Each spouse is only a few righteous choices away from a much better marriage." This is one of the key tenets I teach in any marriage class -- this idea that if just one spouse chooses to do positive things in the marriage, it can turn the relationship around. My thought is, "Why not me?" To bring about positive change in your marriage, remind yourself, "If I keep doing what I've always done, then I will keep getting what I have always gotten." As one of the partners in the m

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Bryan Hardwick

May 20, 2017
6 min

24 Lessons on Marriage

This past week, my wife, Jennifer, and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary. That's 757,382,400 seconds, 12,623,040 minutes, 210,384 hours, 1,252 weeks or 8,766 days of being married to my best friend! I remember, Saturday, May 15, 1993 like it was yesterday! I remember my groomsmen gathering at Lyon's for breakfast! I remember my eyes tearing up as my beautiful bride Jennifer walked down the aisle. I remember stopping by Kaiser in Vallejo to get a prescription for birth

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Why Can't My Spouse Just Do Things My Way?

Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Nov 15, 2016
5 min

Why Can't My Spouse Just Do Things My Way?

Marriage Secret #2: "I want my spouse to accept me the way I am now." Every husband and every wife wants to be accepted by their spouse without having to make many changes. (I talked about this in my blog article for Marriage Secret #2 - Accept Your Spouse the Way they Are Now...Not Some Future Version.) The Bible talks about this idea of acceptance in two different ways: Understanding and Adaptation. In order for a marriage to work, both men and women must seek to understan

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Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Nov 2, 2016
5 min

What Does it Mean to Honor Your Spouse?

Marriage Secret #1: "I want my spouse to treat me like I am the most important person in the world to them." Every husband and every wife wants to be treated as though they are the most important person in their spouse's life. (I talked about this in my blog article for Marriage Secret #1 called Unlock the Secrets to Marriage.) The reason why we agreed to marry the person we did was because they convinced us that they saw us as essential for their life -- they valued us. Like

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Is There a Right Way to Pursue Your Spouse?

Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Oct 25, 2016
5 min

Is There a Right Way to Pursue Your Spouse?

Marriage Secret #7: "I want my spouse to pursue me." Pursuit is a common want in life. Everyone wants to be pursued in some fashion, whether it's at their job to do some special project, to be recruited to play on a team of some sort, or to be asked by friends to come and do some fun thing. It's no different in marriage. Husbands and wives want to be pursued by one another, however they often see the process of pursuit very differently. Is there a right way to pursue your spo

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Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Oct 18, 2016
6 min

Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend?

Marriage Secret #6: "I want my spouse to be my closest friend." Friendship is often misunderstood in marriage. As humans, we have a great need to be understood by another person and have them truly enjoy us. We want to confide in them and they in us. We want to have a friend that we cannot wait to be in their presence and we want them to feel the same way about us. We want the time when we are together to be easy, separate from the pressures around us. We want a friend who is

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Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Oct 11, 2016
4 min

What Energizes Your Spouse?

Marriage Secret #5: "I want my spouse to energize me." Intimacy... This is an entirely critical issue to understand for a great marriage, so we'll cover it here. Intimacy is a huge source of energy for both spouses. There are actually two forms of intimacy that must be present if your marriage is to become a great one -- physical and emotional. The focus of this chapter is to deal with physical intimacy and how husbands and wives often incorrectly approach this area. The equa

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Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Oct 5, 2016
4 min

What Attracts Your Spouse to You?

Marriage Secret #4: "I want my spouse to attract me and to keep attracting me... even as we get older." Let's talk for a moment about a completely misunderstood secret to relationships -- the need for attraction. Every spouse wants to be attracted to their spouse and wants their spouse to be attracted to them. Unfortunately, most of us don't realize what really makes attraction work at the deepest levels. If we are only looking at the physical appearance of the person, then w

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How Does Your Spouse Need You to Engage?

Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Sep 27, 2016
4 min

How Does Your Spouse Need You to Engage?

It's no secret that in order for a marriage to be successful there has to be leadership from both spouses. But what is a secret is that each spouse wants from the other one engaged leadership in the area of their God-given strengths. Marriage Secret #3: "I want my spouse to provide leadership into the marriage in an engaged way." What does a husband want from his wife? What does a wife need from her husband? Let's find out. What does a wife need from her husband? For one thin

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Engage Your Leadership Energies Where It Counts Most

Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Sep 20, 2016
4 min

Engage Your Leadership Energies Where It Counts Most

Apathy and lack of energy focused on our vital relationships is a huge problem for many people today, especially in marriages. We believe we can have it all -- a great marriage, brilliant kids who excel at everything they do, a dynamic, fulfilling career, an abundance of high-quality possessions, caring friends, excitement and fun... The problem is that those things end up stealing precious time and energy from our key relationships as we over work, over play, over spend, and

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Accept Your Spouse The Way They Are Now..Not Some Future Version

Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Sep 13, 2016
4 min

Accept Your Spouse The Way They Are Now..Not Some Future Version

Acceptance is a critical marriage secret to master. Each person in the marriage wants their spouse to celebrate their strengths, understand them, and adapt to them. Acceptance is the idea that makes the other spouse feel, "When I am with you, I am with a safe person." I think we can confidently say that we all want to be with a person who "gets us," don't you agree? The two crucial ideas in this secret of acceptance are understanding and adaptation. One spouse will need more

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Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Sep 6, 2016
3 min

Unlock the Secrets to Marriage

Relationships are a complete mystery to most people. Some work, some don't. Who knows why? Just because you are attracted to a person doesn't mean the relationship will work long-term. And just because you are not initially attracted to a person doesn't mean a relationship will not work. Why do some relationships click and others never get off the ground? Why do some people have a loving marriage, while other people who started in exactly the same place end up divorced? It's

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