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  • Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Unlock the Secrets to Marriage

Relationships are a complete mystery to most people. Some work, some don't. Who knows why? Just because you are attracted to a person doesn't mean the relationship will work long-term. And just because you are not initially attracted to a person doesn't mean a relationship will not work. Why do some relationships click and others never get off the ground? Why do some people have a loving marriage, while other people who started in exactly the same place end up divorced? It's a secret! But I'll give you the codes to unlock the answers.

I enjoy having the secret codes...the hidden keys that make something work at a whole new level. I get frustrated when I try to make something work out but I can't because I don't know how to crack the code. In a video game, you know there are always secret moves and hidden power places that rocket you to whole new levels of the game. At every work place, there are unspoken, almost secret company rules that allow you to move up in the company when followed. And wealthy people tell us that if you follow the hidden rules of money, you can pile up a lot of it! It's the same way with a marriage. There are secret codes that need to be cracked to make them work. These are relationship changers, and they will make all the sense in the world to you once you learn them. I'll start with Secret #1 and I will introduce all seven of them to you over the coming months through this Life Is Relationships devotional.

Marriage Secret #1: We want our spouse to treat us like we are the most important person in their world.

Couples that enjoy their relationship do so because both partners have placed the other as the most important relationship in their life (after God). Your spouse holds the key to whether you can achieve and accomplish your full God-given potential. When you choose to highly value the person God gave you, the better your marriage and life will be. Usually it is developed a little bit each day in very specific ways, such as taking time for each other every day; listening when the other person speaks; complimenting one another; and going out of their way to please each other. Healthy couples want to be together. They tell each other, "I love you!" regularly. They emphasize the things that each one does well, and even overlook, or at times cover up, what their spouse does poorly. A couple that gets this right creates a powerful emotional space where both people find delight in one another.

There are few things that bring a spark to a marriage than feeling, hearing, believing, knowing, and seeing that you are supremely important to your spouse. That little glimmer in the eyes, a bounce in their step, a knowing smile from across the room are all signs of a contented spouse. This is possible for every marriage, but I am here to tell you that this is a choice each spouse must make if the marriage is to be healthy. If you want a great marriage, then you must value your spouse above all other human relationships. Give priority to your spouse every day, and demonstrate it by paying attention to them in meaningful ways.

(Taken from an excerpt from Dr. Gil's new book, Marriage Secrets, coming out soon.)

I look forward to interacting with you during your spiritual journey. Please email me at to let me know how God is working in and through your life. Your greatest life is just ahead. In His service,

Dr. Gil Stieglitz

Marital Intelligence

"This is excellent and insightful and would be helpful to any marriage. One of the best books on the topic." (From an Amazon review.) There are only five problems in marriage. Find out what they are in Dr. Gil's book, Marital Intelligence! Available in print and ebook formats in our online store and at Order your copy today!

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