Needy By Design
When you search inside yourself, do you find that you have a profound craving to be deeply known and understood? Do you feel like you might do just about anything in order to be really, truly loved and accepted just the way you are, and to feel worthwhile, like you matter? Well, you’re not alone. We were all born with those basic needs. Why is that? They can feel intensely overwhelming and be so inconvenient. Hunger like that can lead to dangerous behaviors, even addictions.
The Creator, in whose image we were designed, actually installed those desires in you for good (no, perfect!) reason. The angels who announced Jesus’ birth called Him, “Emmanuel”, which means “God with us” (Matt. 1:23) – because apparently He doesn’t want to be without us. Imagine! The all-knowing, all-powerful Creator of the universe wants to hang out with you!
No matter how close you feel to another person, the truth is this: God is the only one who thoroughly knows you (even your thoughts), understands you (with all of your quirks), and loves you unconditionally (absolutely NO strings attached, regardless of your behavior). The reason He created you with that almost-insatiable hunger for intimate relationship is because He deeply desires intimacy with you. He’s the true “metallic” object of those “magnetic” desires you feel. He wants you to be attracted to Him, to have an intricate connection with Him, an unbreakable bond that not even death can separate. And He designed you to experience close connection with other people as well, especially people who have that intimacy with Him. That’s why there are so many “one another(s)” in the Bible. He likes relationship, a LOT (Matt. 22:37-39). God, Himself, is in His own triangular relationship, apart from all other beings. He is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, all at once. (I know…impossible to comprehend, but true nonetheless.)
Are you aware that God sees you as His unique work of art, an eternal masterpiece, “the apple of His eye”? In short, He’s crazy about you! And He craves a deep, personal connection with you. He invites you to become absolutely dependent upon Him as the Source of everything He knows you need, with the promise that He will NEVER, ever leave you or forsake you. Because He adores you, He wants nothing less than the absolute best for you -- for your life here on Earth, where your flesh-eyes can’t see Him, as well as forever, after you “shuffle off this mortal coil”, as Shakespeare put it, and you’re able to see Him face to face.
He knows you’ve screwed up and that you’ll screw up again and again, and He loves you anyway. Go figure! John 3:17 says, “God didn’t send His son (Jesus Christ) into the world to condemn the world (you), but He sent Him here so that, through Him, the world (you) might be saved.”
God has committed Himself to you and deeply desires that the commitment be mutual, because that’s the way life works best, according to His design. And He is, after all, the ultimate designer. What an invitation this is! He is the only wise one, the only one who has the accurate perspective of truth in every circumstance, and the only one who can intervene on your behalf with what’s truly best for you. He is the only one who knows every detail of your past, present, and future, and He is cheerleading for you to make great decisions that will help, rather than hurt you. Jeremiah heard God say “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future" (Jer. 29:11). How awesome is that? The most powerful being knows you, adores you, and has plans to help you walk into a great future! Why? Simply because He loves you. Not because you deserve it; none of us do. Not because He expects you to pay Him back; that isn’t even possible. It’s just who He is and how He chooses to use His power.
Don’t worry, He knows all about your inability to live a perfect life, or have perfect relationships, so He covered all the bases about 2000 years ago. He anticipated the fact that you and I are weak and prone to ignore Him. He personally knows and understands Satan; He has a long history with him. God knows that Satan’s agenda is “To kill, steal and destroy” you, your life, and your connections with God and other people (John 10:10). So God, the perfect Father, did the unthinkable. He sent His only eternal Son (Jesus) to leave Heaven, put on human skin, and to live here on this filthy planet for 33 years, to experience every kind of temptation that you experience, to be rejected and tortured beyond recognition, to experience God’s rejection, and to sacrifice his life on a cross – on your behalf. In essence, Jesus went through hell and back so that you could live forever in an intimate relationship with God. Emmanuel, remember? “God with us.” God with YOU. And knowing that you would constantly struggle to remain connected and obedient to God, He sent the third member of the trinity, His perfect Spirit, to live inside of you, so that you can be empowered to walk it out and become more like Him during this temporal lifetime.
What a huge gift! And it’s free. But it is not without cost. Jesus paid dearly. Are you willing to let go of trying to control all the things you really cannot control anyway? Are you ready to rely on the only true, unfailing lover of your soul, the only one with the power to consistently do what’s best for you? Are you able to realize that you’ve been dependent on meager resources (at best), powerless or perhaps even dangerous people/things, rather than on your only completely trustworthy Source of love and of everything you really need? If you are, then it’s time to ask Him to forgive you for selfishly believing you could ever do life better on your own, independent of Him. Ask Him to forgive you, to make you a new creation, and to give you the gift of Life lived in His presence, with His power, under His authority, eternally. And He will.
When you enter into that trust-relationship with Him, your profound, inherent needs will be fulfilled forever. You can be certain, beyond any doubt, that you are personally known and understood, deeply loved and accepted just the way you are, and absolutely worthwhile. He adores you. He has a good life and future for you. You matter, now and forever.
I would love to connect with you. You're invited to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. If you or someone you know would like to set up a counseling appointment, please call me at 612-239-4178. Leave a message, and I will do my best to get back to you within 24 hrs. And may all your relationships become healthy ones!
In God's Lap With You,
Clinical Christian Counselor
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